You know when you come face to face with something. Something you've been avoiding, ignoring, pretending doesn't exist. And in that, you're feeling pretty okay; almost hopeful again. Then BAM. Somehow, you find yourself staring at it.
And it hurts. so. bad.
And for 10 minutes you cry your soul out of your body. You can't imagine that it could ever be okay. Wish you could erase that knowledge, that vision. Maybe ignorance is bliss - but that just can't be healthy for your soul. Not for mine anyways.
It's not always easy to do what's best for you. It's such a conflicting feeling, wanting and knowing better. It's SO HARD to not feel sad, and to believe that if you just keep going you WILL be okay. Well. you will. I will. It's nearly impossible to believe that this hurt will go away. This giant torn open thing inside of you will cease to cause you pain and eat up every ounce of energy in your mind. I promise you it will, mostly because I need someone to promise me.
Carry on. There'll be peace when you are done.
My hope comes from this. So much can change in such little time. I had no idea that the next day I would meet him and he would turn my world upside down. I didn't see the heartbreak coming either. So who knows what's around the corner. Next month, 3 months, 5 months from now? Maybe happiness. Maybe pink castles and rainbows and butterflies again. But better. Because I'm me n.o.w.
And now me has gone through this, and is one day past, one ounce stronger.
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